500 Followers

 

 

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU….you guys are the best. I can’t believe I have 500 followers. I will never forget those first few posts of mine and my first three likes, visits and follows.Just three followers in the beginning, that was it, and I was so happy. I have three followers…AWESOME! I don’t even know how to show my appreciation for 500. Thank you so much you guys, you really make blogging fun. Thank you for your posts, recipes, inspiring others and just sharing your lives and adventures with us all.

It was my daughter who signed me up for blogging. Something I don’t share with most followers, but now will, is that I have reasons behind why I don’t do Facebook. There are some people in my family I am estranged from in order to protect my children and husband from their abuse.

We had to get off Facebook, change our phone numbers and deal with the constant bullying tactics from an abusive sociopath member in my family. What is really sad is that this is not just my story, it is the story of thousands.

For every case of abuse reported there are two that aren’t. Those children grow up and as adults they either walk away or continue being abused. If they decide to go No Contact then they get abused by society for not putting up with it.

When I walked away from my mother over 7 years ago, I forgave her that day. I looked at my children, who were being molded to take over the role I played in my family (mother’s side) and decided they would not experience that lifestyle.

It was my kids who opened my eyes to what had been going on for years. When I decided to go No Contact, the abuse got even more aggressive. Things were stolen from my front porch. All our beautiful trees and plants I kept up front, which included a peach tree that produced the sweetest peaches, that I shared with neighbors, all killed.

One week every thing slowly started dying. It was the trees that broke my heart the most in the beginning. Later a neighbor said they saw someone when we were out of town doing something around our yard.

This may sound extreme but my mother has a history of creating chaos and pain with whoever is in her life. I wouldn’t put it past her to have things stolen and plants killed.

When I set boundaries for my mother when it came to contact with my children she became so angry she stepped up her hatred and abuse, so I had no choice but to go No Contact.

I wouldn’t put it past my mom to have my plants killed and my up-cycled furniture pieces stolen from our yard. My mother and sister knew, that those up-cycled pieces of trash I found and redid, were things that made me happy. They knew I loved my plants and trees as well.

Guess what I finally have the courage to write, is that there are many of us out there that have this same story I am writing about at this moment. It is hard to tell our stories because we were never believed even as children.

The toxic ones in our lives were so good at manipulating others, and they only showed them what they wanted to see, no one would believe us even as adults…so most suffer in silence.

Plus, we get attacked again when we say we had no choice but to be estranged from a love one. Most get looked at like they are crazy when they finally have the courage to speak their story or worse, they are told to go back and try to make it work…it’s your mother after all.

Blogging was the best thing my daughter did for me. She got me back online, and even though there are moments I fear checking comments, waiting for my mother to have found me or “her people” to attack me, I still get on.

It takes courage to walk away from a mother, because like I wrote up above, society attacks most people who say anything negative about a parent.The abuse never stops. It comes from a parent, then once grown, it comes from the world when you finally speak up…and that is why most stay quiet.

I love sharing the positive things in my life and blogging is a safe way for me to do that.. So thank you, all my followers. You will never realize just how much I needed your likes, follows and comments…they helped heal me.

I don’t hate my mother, she is broken. I pray for her and love her from a distance, even after everything she has done. Hate is poison and it only turns to bitterness in the end.

My husband and children are happier. That yard now has several new trees that have grown in the past four years.The stolen and dead things stopped after my father died. But just the other month my mother started her games again, so we will see what happens now.

I will continue sharing my positive post, favorite DIY’s, adventures, and photos with you all. I will more then likely get rid of this post once it is on for awhile, just to thank you all at least. I do like my privacy and blogging to me is never about sharing that ugly part of my history. I just want to encourage others to spread kindness and love out there in the world.

Happy blogging everyone.

For more info. on toxic people please check out another one of my followers. Linda Lee (https://wordpress.com/read/feeds/43830530) Linda also needs your prayers, her husband had some surgery done.

And for the Christians who may be struggling with going No Contact with a toxic person please read Pastor Dave Orrison’s post( https://wordpress.com/2019/05/03/toxic-people/)

To all of you that have lived this story, please know that you are important, you have talents and gifts, you deserve to be treated with love and kindness and to always have happiness. It will get better once you realize this.

 

 

 

46 Comments Add yours

  1. So sweet, I love taking walks in your garden. I knew there had to be a reason behind all those peaceful post of yours and your furry family members are so adorable. I am also sad to hear that you are also someone that has had to deal with someone toxic in your life. I am happy that you are in a much better environment now. It is hard to share that part with others, thank you for sharing the positive things in your life with us all. Have a wonderful weekend and give those cats some belly rubs for me, they are too cute.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. simplywendi says:

    God bless you for doing what you needed to do to protect your self and your family, I am so very thankful that you escaped from your mother with your life. I have no idea the hell you went through, but I do know what it is to be a child and not be believed. I am so proud of you for stepping out of your comfort zone and be able to blog and sharing the good parts of your life.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you so much for the kind words. God Bless you as well and may only good things always come your way. Thank you for sharing your beautiful words and poetry with us all as well. Your a really kind soul.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. simplywendi says:

        It is truly my pleasure and thank you for your very kind words. It breaks my heart to read so many stories of people hurting other people, it is just beyond my comprehension. I am so sorry that you are one of those people.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Oooh…. as I was reading this, I kept thinking: “She’s speaking in my language! Wow!”

    Then, when I saw that you had posted a link to my blog — I can’t even tell you what that means. I feel so humbled and blessed. Thank you so much. Thanks especially for your prayer request for my husband.

    I, too, ended my Facebook account years ago, for the same reasons.

    Your mother sounds so much like my momster. And yet, my favorite part of your post is this: “I don’t hate my mother, she is broken. I pray for her and love her from a distance, even after everything she has done. Hate is poison and it only turns to bitterness in the end.”

    Yes. Amen.

    I understand wanting to delete this page later. I have deleted many posts and even entire blogs.

    I’m currently writing a memoir. The title is Growing Up Crazy. Because that’s exactly what my childhood was. I’m so sorry that your childhood was crazy, too.

    But it doesn’t end with childhood, does it?

    ((HUG))

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Whoops, I don’t see my long reply that I had originally sent to you, guess I was a little frazzled after writing that post and forgot to hit send. Now I forget what I wrote. I know I wrote that I thought you picked a great title for your book. It is like growing up crazy in that toxic environment. So sad to read that you had to live through that. Happy I came across your site though, thank you for your bravery, your post and just sharing your life with us all. Your words and your site gave me my own little bit of courage to write this post. I am happy you are out of that ugly and cruel environment you grew up in, and have peace in your life now, we all need that. Hugs back to you and your husband…hope he is healing okay and everything is good. Have a beautiful Sunday and keep writing, there are a lot of injured people out there that need encouraging words.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Camie says:

    It is so hard when the toxic person in your life is your own mother. I know that firsthand. I’m proud of you for going no contact. I have distanced myself considerably. I remember telling my mother, when my oldest was born, that the cycle stops with me. She acted as if she had no idea what I was talking about. I’m just thankful we have clear minds to recognize the truth. You are right about forgiveness. It helps us heal. You are truly amazing! 💛

    Liked by 1 person

    1. So sad, I did not realize there were so many other followers that have a similar story to tell. Sorry to read that you too know what it is like to have a mother that does not love like other mothers. I always searched out what I called heart mothers when I was a little girl, to help mentor me. I also had my Nana and my Grandma, both were really very loving to me. It is nice to post about the positive things in our lives. Blogging has helped out a lot. When ever I hear from anyone, that tells me a story about a toxic person in their lives, I always listen and believe. God Bless you and I hope you and your family have a great weekend as well.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Camie says:

        Heart mothers. That sounds so nice! I’ve been blessed to find some of those in my life as well. And I bet we are each a heart mom to someone. 💕 Happy weekend!

        Liked by 1 person

  5. ekurie says:

    It’s funny, isn’t it, how we present ourselves to the world yet just under the surface are battles raging that no one ever sees. Thank you so much for sharing your heart and a little of your pain. I cried, more for the blessing of love you give that your mother may live her whole life and never know. I hope to continue to follow you for however long you choose to write. May God continue to bless and heal your soul wounds.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Ekurie, your words mean so much to me. It is better to know that the people who have hurt us are happy and healthy, living a good life. To want only bad things for the ones who have hurt is would only make us feel sick with hate, then we all suffer. Hate is not a place I recommend anyone get stuck in and it happens so much. When someone is cruel and hateful I try to see the child in them that they once were, knowing that somewhere back in their past they did not have anyone to show them love and kindness. That is why, it is so important that we teach our young empathy, love and kindness for all things. To stop that chain of cruelty first starts with that broken child, we don’t need more broken people. I wish I could have done this for my mom when she was a tiny little girl, something happen to make her the way she is. I will always be a target for that hate and pain she suffered back then, before I was even born, so I have to stay away from her, but I will continue to pray that she is happy and healthy in her life. That is all I can do. I can also spread a little kindness out there in the world through this little blog of mine, sharing with others the things I try to teach my kids and just the beautiful things out there in life I come across. If everyone does their part, day by day, one baby step at a time, we will start turning this around on our planet. Have a wonderful weekend and God Bless you and your family.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. mel says:

    Congratulations!! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  7. This was just what I needed to read this morning. I too have been struggling with past abuse and the scars it leaves on your soul and while you are so forgiving it filled me with fear and hate and all the emotions one should never posses. I struggle to forgive the woman who ruined my childhood. Im terrified of her. You are such a strong and courageous woman and I hope to learn forgiveness as you have. Thank you for being the unseen support that you didn’t know we needed. Congratulations on 500 followers! You deserve it!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am so sorry to hear that you too share this pain with so many others. With Mother’s Day just around the corner it is so hard for the children who grew up not knowing a mother’s love. I also hope some day you are able to heal and forgive, and I understand your anger…I went through that stage too. It feels better when we are able to walk through the anger. To do so, puts us in a place of love and peace. What helped me in the beginning was to go out and find something to take my mind off of the those negative emotions…walking out in nature, creating art, even talking with a love one that understands what you are going through, all these things helped me. I hope the fear and hate you have go away and only good things always come your way from this moment forward. Do not listen to those cruel words and things from the past. Your day starts now…today. Have a beautiful day today and thank you for the kind words in your comment. Your mother was broken, and she tried to break you as well, but you are also strong and survived to talk about it and understand it was wrong, so even though she left scars with you, she did not break you completely.

      Like

  8. kathyscrafts1 says:

    You have to know when to walk away. You did the right thing and I’m SUPER PROUD OF YOU!!!!! STAY STRONG!!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. PoojaG says:

    Congratulations!!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I’ve been “off the blogging grid” for a couple of weeks and the first thing I read when I get back today is this….your heartfelt, honest to god, painful, hopeful, speechlessmaking blog post……..reading between the lines I had always felt that you had some hardship to endure in your life, but never in my wildest dreams would I have thought of something like this! My heart hurts just reading this and imagining what a strong woman it must need to stay sane, still believe in the good in people and be able to forgive !!
    You’ve always had a special place in my heart and now I know why!
    Doesn’t happen often but I don’t know what else to write and also have a hard time seeing as I’m still crying my eyes out.
    So, I’ll make it short……..what a shame the world doesn’t have more people like you !!
    Big hug from Nova Scotia

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for your kind words, as always you know exact;y what to say, I had a moment there, guess with Mothers Day around the corner it triggered me, as my daughter likes to call it. I thought I share the reasons behind my starting a blog. If I had not had an outlet as a child, which was to create, I probably would have ended up bitter and just as broken as my mother. I also had a lot of quiet places to go to, to escape the chaos my mom craved. Kind neighbors, and that huge desert mountain we lived on were perfect escapes. I have always told my kids that everyone has a story, we don’t know what their path was like in their life, so try to be understanding. I know my mom grew up in a dysfunctional home, her environment made her the way she is. All I could do was to make sure my kids did not grow up in that same environment. That chain was a hard one to break. I lost a whole family when I gave my mom rules to follow, she basically went insane with anger. I think it is mostly that she is terrified that I will expose all those lies of hers, starting with how she raised her two daughters. I do have some family that I can turn to, my father’s side and a cousin from my mother’s side. I feel bad for all those kids out there now that are suffering, and some of my followers I have discovered have a similar story. It really is a story that thousands can tell. Anyway, it made me who I am today, all that time spent creating and now I can teach others and share that with many. Thank you again for your kind words. I hope you had a great time at your Spring sales and you sold a lot of those beautiful handmade items of yours. Have a wonderful weekend and as always give Emma a big hug, big hugs to all actually.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Dandelion B says:

    The best “revenge” is to live your life and be happy. I dont take it to literal i dont do things with thoghts of oh that will show her etc…but for getting past a bad relationship of any kind I agree leave hate on the back burner and just live and be happy. I see so many comments and simular stories and support for your post…so nice! we all need strength from othet survivors in all aspecta of life.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Very true. Always live a good life and be happy.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. lanature76 says:

    Your blog has a warm atmosphere and is always healed. It’s really nice(*^-^*)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, very kind of you to write this. You have a really lovely and peaceful way with your posts on your site, thank you for sharing that with us all.

      Liked by 1 person

  13. 3C Style says:

    I am so sorry you had to go through that painful experience as a child and again as an adult. Mothers are suppose to be kind and loving but like you said some are broken. I believe you did what is best for you and your family and no matter what others say it is YOUR life. You deserve to be happy and feeling safe should be a priority. I am glad blogging helped you go through this. I am sure this post will help others too. Thank you for sharing the good parts of your life. I don’t visit as much as I would like to but I honestly truly enjoy reading you, always.You are so inspiring. Much love!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are so kind…thank you again. I know it is hard to visit everyone when you follow so many. I think I follow more then I am followed…try saying that fast. I had a moment there when I wrote up the 500 post and started venting, will try to be careful of that next time. I was shocked to discover that some of my followers have a similar story, so sad too. I knew there were others out there who have had to deal with toxic people but didn’t know I had some followers in that same boat. All anyone can do is create their own environment of peace, stay away from people that make them feel icky and hope and pray that those broken people finally see their ways and turn things around. Again, thanks so much for the kind words and for stopping by for a visit too. Have a great week and keep creating beautiful things about nature, you are really good at that.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. 3C Style says:

        Thank you for your kind words. Means a lot to me. It takes a lot of courage to share painful parts of our past life. I know, I’m not ready to do so yet. But you did it and I think your blog post can and will help other people with a similar story to yours. Hope your family can stay safe and away from broken people. Hugs.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thank you…hugs back. Keep those happy memories close to your heart, eventually those painful parts will be over powered by them.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. 3C Style says:

        They are part of the past already but I just don’t want to think about them nor share them. There are colleagues from work that follow my blog and I don’t want them to know that much about my private life.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. So true, better that way.

        Liked by 1 person

  14. Blended Hope says:

    Thank you for sharing your story❤️❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You’re welcome and thank you for visiting my site, always nice to have visitors.

      Like

  15. Wow! Congratulations on your new milestone! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Whoops, forgot to also thank you for being one of those followers and visiting my site.

      Like

  16. So sorry, dear. I cut ties with my mom over her abusive husband for my sake and my children’s, for 15 years. I found forgiveness but my forgiveness wouldn’t change him, it changed me, healed me. He’s passed now and im6reunited with my mom. Brave of you.
    And, YAY!!!! Congrats on 500! Cheers to the next 500 and the light and warmth you share with us all!💕

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Laura. It is so nice to read that you and your mom are back together. Forgiveness does heal us and is the best advice I give to others as well. I wish I could have my mom in my life but she is still up to her ways. So I pray her life changes for the better and everyone stays safe around her, so far I haven’t heard any bad news. Sometimes it is the No news that is the Good news.

      Like

  17. I am so sorry for the late comment. We have been in a whirlwind for the past month. And no I still don’t have my house repaired yet. BUT, first congratulations on all your well deserved followers. You will have 5,000 before you know, and I will be able so say that I knew you when 🙂 Second, you have to do what is best for you and your children. You deserve to be happy, and feel safe, and loved. Anything less is not acceptable 🙂 You are in my prayers, and for your mom to soften her heart.

    Keep up the beautiful loving work you do here. It is greatly appreciated. Look at all these glorious comments 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, and Linda Lee is amazing by the way 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, she is. Such a kind soul, so glad I found her site.

        Liked by 1 person

    2. Thank you Margaret, you always know exactly what to write. You are one of my very first followers and have stuck with me this whole time. Thank you for that but most of all thank you for sharing God’s words with me. You showed up because God always knows how to set his people in the right direction, getting them together, making sure they come into contact with one another. It happens all the time out there in the world too. So many angels walk among us and miracles happen every hour. It is a special gift when we can see this. As for my mom, I am always looking for signs that she has changed, that she is ready to share her truths but as of this month, she is still up to her tricks and lying to others…I will continue to pray. My kids are happy, they are adults now since I had to leave that abusive environment. May was a hard month for me because my mom started trying to interfere with my life again and it has been years since she has done this. It was a nice four year break there for awhile. Oh well, such is life. God Bless you and your family and friends. Have a wonderful week too.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I love what you wrote and it really shows your kind soul 🙂 Angels all around 🙂 Then there are people that will cause you pain, and unhappiness and I don’t feel the LORD wants us in pain or unhappy. He delights in our joy as all good parents do, and His love surpasses all understanding of what we feel as love. 🙂 You are His, bought with a price, and nothing can pluck you out of His hand. Maybe it is like my sister told me. I had the blog up 3 days. The world was caving in around me. I said, “and I’m not going to be able to do this blog thing. I’ll have to go back to texting out the verses” She burst out crying and said, evil doesn’t want you to do that blog because it’s going to help people. I feel that maybe this presence has shown back up because things are going good, or there is something the LORD wants you to do, or just a blessing because you deserve one. It could be any number of wonders the Lord is working in your life 🙂 This distraction shows up to derail whatever it might be 🙂 You know your life. Look at it. See if wow life was headed in this direction, YA!…. then she showed up 🙂 If that makes sense.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Oh my goodness, YES, this makes perfect sense. Keep spreading out the verses, you have helped so many. There were lots of times I wanted to stop blogging as well, but it became a fun hobby for me and I have met so many wonderful people here. Thank you Margaret for everything you do and all your kindness you spread out there in your comments and just your encouragement. God must be smiling down at you all the time and what is being accomplished here in these blogs with people connecting and coming together. This is what social media should always be about, spreading kindness, love and connecting with our online neighbors.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Well said my friend, well said 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s