THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU….you guys are the best. I can’t believe I have 500 followers. I will never forget those first few posts of mine and my first three likes, visits and follows.Just three followers in the beginning, that was it, and I was so happy. I have three followers…AWESOME! I don’t even know how to show my appreciation for 500. Thank you so much you guys, you really make blogging fun. Thank you for your posts, recipes, inspiring others and just sharing your lives and adventures with us all.
It was my daughter who signed me up for blogging. Something I don’t share with most followers, but now will, is that I have reasons behind why I don’t do Facebook. There are some people in my family I am estranged from in order to protect my children and husband from their abuse.
We had to get off Facebook, change our phone numbers and deal with the constant bullying tactics from an abusive sociopath member in my family. What is really sad is that this is not just my story, it is the story of thousands.
For every case of abuse reported there are two that aren’t. Those children grow up and as adults they either walk away or continue being abused. If they decide to go No Contact then they get abused by society for not putting up with it.
When I walked away from my mother over 7 years ago, I forgave her that day. I looked at my children, who were being molded to take over the role I played in my family (mother’s side) and decided they would not experience that lifestyle.
It was my kids who opened my eyes to what had been going on for years. When I decided to go No Contact, the abuse got even more aggressive. Things were stolen from my front porch. All our beautiful trees and plants I kept up front, which included a peach tree that produced the sweetest peaches, that I shared with neighbors, all killed.
One week every thing slowly started dying. It was the trees that broke my heart the most in the beginning. Later a neighbor said they saw someone when we were out of town doing something around our yard.
This may sound extreme but my mother has a history of creating chaos and pain with whoever is in her life. I wouldn’t put it past her to have things stolen and plants killed.
When I set boundaries for my mother when it came to contact with my children she became so angry she stepped up her hatred and abuse, so I had no choice but to go No Contact.
I wouldn’t put it past my mom to have my plants killed and my up-cycled furniture pieces stolen from our yard. My mother and sister knew, that those up-cycled pieces of trash I found and redid, were things that made me happy. They knew I loved my plants and trees as well.
Guess what I finally have the courage to write, is that there are many of us out there that have this same story I am writing about at this moment. It is hard to tell our stories because we were never believed even as children.
The toxic ones in our lives were so good at manipulating others, and they only showed them what they wanted to see, no one would believe us even as adults…so most suffer in silence.
Plus, we get attacked again when we say we had no choice but to be estranged from a love one. Most get looked at like they are crazy when they finally have the courage to speak their story or worse, they are told to go back and try to make it work…it’s your mother after all.
Blogging was the best thing my daughter did for me. She got me back online, and even though there are moments I fear checking comments, waiting for my mother to have found me or “her people” to attack me, I still get on.
It takes courage to walk away from a mother, because like I wrote up above, society attacks most people who say anything negative about a parent.The abuse never stops. It comes from a parent, then once grown, it comes from the world when you finally speak up…and that is why most stay quiet.
I love sharing the positive things in my life and blogging is a safe way for me to do that.. So thank you, all my followers. You will never realize just how much I needed your likes, follows and comments…they helped heal me.
I don’t hate my mother, she is broken. I pray for her and love her from a distance, even after everything she has done. Hate is poison and it only turns to bitterness in the end.
My husband and children are happier. That yard now has several new trees that have grown in the past four years.The stolen and dead things stopped after my father died. But just the other month my mother started her games again, so we will see what happens now.
I will continue sharing my positive post, favorite DIY’s, adventures, and photos with you all. I will more then likely get rid of this post once it is on for awhile, just to thank you all at least. I do like my privacy and blogging to me is never about sharing that ugly part of my history. I just want to encourage others to spread kindness and love out there in the world.
Happy blogging everyone.
For more info. on toxic people please check out another one of my followers. Linda Lee (https://wordpress.com/read/feeds/43830530) Linda also needs your prayers, her husband had some surgery done.
And for the Christians who may be struggling with going No Contact with a toxic person please read Pastor Dave Orrison’s post( https://wordpress.com/2019/05/03/toxic-people/)
To all of you that have lived this story, please know that you are important, you have talents and gifts, you deserve to be treated with love and kindness and to always have happiness. It will get better once you realize this.