To be a father.



“ A good father is one of the most unsung, unpraised, unnoticed and yet one of the most valuable assets in our society.”

Billy Graham

Just wanted to give a BIG THANK YOU to all those men out there who father and mentor children of all ages. And an especially big THANK YOU to my husband for being the best dad to our two children, who are now all grown up by the way. They grow fast, for any of you new parents out there. Treasure these days, hours and minutes.


Every father’s Day my husband never really liked material gifts. He considers himself a Franciscan type, not really a big fan of the material things in the world. He grew up Catholic but likes the humble side of religion.


He would never wear a gold cross, he is more of a wooden cross type of guy. Anyway, I thought it would be fun to share with you all some of the adventures we did together as a family. These are the things my husband always ask for as gifts, our memories and spending time having fun with one another.


So here it is,what it takes to be a fun, loving, kind, teaching, mentoring, caring, amazing, and fantastic dad.


Our first child, a little girl would spend a whole month in the hospital after her premature birth. Being a first time father spending hours in a NICU is not easy. But my husband did it with so much love. Every time he walked into that room where our daughter was, his whole face just lit up.


After a month in NICU we finally got to take our baby girl home. She went home with a machine to monitor her heart and breathing for a heart condition she had (SVT). We were also told her head scans showed shadows, which they said indicated she had Cerebral Palsy. We cried when we heard it, then we looked at our precious and perfect little girl and took her home and loved her. I remember she was so tiny, I had a hard time finding clothes to fit her so I bought doll clothes for her from the toy shops.


My husband was right there by my side, being the perfect dad shopping in the toy section with me, looking through doll clothes for our baby to wear. Those doll clothes , although very small, still swallowed her up. Even preemie diapers were giant on her. She would lay in her crib always looking up above her and smile and giggle all the time.

My husband and I finally came to the conclusion that she was seeing angels above her and that was what made her so happy in that crib.

When our son was born he was a healthy baby. We had no problems dressing him.He was this little chubby thing and as adorable as could be.

My son was 2 days old in this photo.

One day when he was about a year and a half he stopped speaking, he stopped looking at us and he became lost in another world.The giggling and happy little baby we had known just disappeared one morning. It happened that fast.


At first the doctors said everything was fine and they did tests on his hearing which turned out perfect. I could see my husband was in pain at watching what was happening to our son right before our eyes.


I remember watching my son sit in his sand box and do the same thing over and over. Grab sand, pour, grab sand, pour….my husband walked up behind me in the doorway as I watched our little boy in our back yard and my husband will never forget the words I said to him that day “ I have been through hell so many times in my life, I know my way in and out by heart…and I am going in there and getting our son and bringing him back.” it’s a quote by one of our presidents and it is a great one at that. A little different then how I said it but it all means the same thing. A battle is coming and we need strength to get through it. We were never alone though, so many of our prayers were about to be answered because we believe we are never alone where ever we may be, God is always by our side to help us through what ever journey we are taking.


My husband was the perfect dad right there helping me and our kids with turning our home into basically a preschool. When friends and family walked in to visit it was like walking into a classroom. Pecs cards labeled everything in our home, stations were set up in all the corners. Everything was neat and structured with sensory tables and bean bags and mini trampolines in the kitchen.

When we pulled our kids out at 5 and 6 and decided to home school them that was when the real battles happened. It still amazes me how much contempt there is for the parents that have to come to a decision to home-school when the system fails them. And the most horrible thing is when family and people you believed were your friends hate you and turn on you for that decision…so strange.

My husband once again was right there with me helping with lessons and field trip adventures.

When my son wanted a baby tiger we looked all over our city together searching for a kitten that looked liked a baby tiger. Finally one came up for adoption that was a rescue kitten that had been abandoned. It had to be hand fed with a bottle but my husband drove way out of the city to a small town to pick it up for our son. That’s a dad for you.


That baby tiger is all grown up now. Here he is, also known as Sammy, Sam Sam, and Samburger Hamburger. He is still very loyal to our son. Those two are the best of friends.


One day my husband took our kids to the zoo. Told my daughter to ask the Elephant keeper some questions and do an interview as a home school lesson that day. Her and her brother had the best time interviewing that Elephant keeper and they learned so much. The lesson that day was empathy. The keeper was very sad, he was upset about the Elephants. They were not happy and needed a bigger and better area to explore and walk. My daughter and son got to touch the Elephants and even feed them that day. But the best lesson my husband taught them that day was the lesson that we are not the only living creatures on this planet and although some of us don’t speak the same language to each other, we still all have the same beating heart that feels pain, sadness, happiness and love.


Or the time my husband taught them about history. They were both able to speak to soldiers that were there battling during DDay. This was at a museum event in California.


They explored ships, air museums and learned through speaking to the people who actually lived history. This is why we tell them to research everything they are being told and remember that unless you see it, hear it, and experience it yourself, always question everything.


They had Science lessons at tide pools. We just hopped in our truck and off we all went on a 6 hour road trip to the beach to explore one day. We stayed the whole week and had so much fun.


Scuba lessons in the pool.


Exploring caves and natural tunnels. Learning about natives and the plants they grew and how they lived long ago here in our home state of Arizona.


Dance Recitals in the park.


A day at the beach watching seagulls.


Or just hanging out together getting our toes wet in the waves. We took a bucket of plaster with us and poured plaster Alphabet letters in the sand and painted them later that night in our hotel room. Every moment, and second of everyday was a learning opportunity to teach our children.


Dad’s life lessons never ended. From helping a group of people build a tiny straw bale house. Covered in mud we all had fun eating pizza together later as we watched a beautiful sunset (those photos are somewhere on my husband’s computer).

They spent time working with dad on sets shooting commercials and helping dad edit and designing music for them. All children are like little sponges and they love to experience and learn about everything. We exposed our kids to everything we were doing in our lives as adults. We included them as much as possible.


Desert adventures.


Days visiting art exhibits in the gardens.


My husband showed our kids how beautiful this world of ours is.


When I came home upset after volunteering for a week at our son’s school (before we home schooled) crying because of how cruel our son’s speech therapist was when she sneered and said to my son’s classroom teacher “Isn’t there a room we can just stick him in” all because he was upset and couldn’t use words to communicate with. I just showed him directions from his PECS book of photos and he was fine after that. Dad was right there to help build up our son’s confidence when others frightened him.

Or how the Speech therapist said “Why bother, he won’t know what to do” when all the other kids went to go paint and color for their art lessons. I had to fight back how upset I was and go and use a paintbrush as a prompt and say one word to him “Paint?” which he did to the amazement of that speech therapist, she was angry though when she saw that…why? Why are there people out there in the world with such contempt and bitterness in them that they only know misery and not success?.

It hurt my heart to see the so called educated professionals not do anything to help our son. Art was always my son’s favorite activity in our home, he loved creating things.The teachers at that school should have been teaching me how to reach my son. But  it was I that had to find outside help in order to find ways to help my son learn how to communicate. I was the one that made that PECS folder for him. My husband was always there to encourage me and help me when things got hard. He is the best dad ever for that.


I wonder what that therapist would say now to that child that she believed could not even comprehend art. I wonder what she would say if she knew he would go on to win several awards for his art and even make hundreds of dollars as a young kid selling that art. Art that she didn’t think he was ever capable of doing. People loved his whimsical robot designs.


We had a lot of beautiful memories and so many happy ones too. And we still are. Now they are all grown up but they will always need their dad’s wisdom and life lessons for the rest of their lives.




In all those years, all the the ups and downs, my husband kept being a wonderful dad, right by their side the whole way, teaching them, and loving them.

I can’t believe they are adults now. I am sure you are wondering about all those problems I mentioned above. The medical issues, the no speaking for years, The nightmare teachers, the upset family members. How did it all end.


With two happy adult children still exploring, learning, making memories together and growing more. The Cerebral Palsy never showed up again on any scans and we have the records to show for it. The heart condition our daughter outgrew. My son speaks. He reads, writes and is in college now working on a degree in Biochemistry.

We have long conversations and laugh together. When people talk about the things that make them happy one of mine is that my son talks to me. I will get the weirdest stares when I say that “I am just happy my son speaks to me and my daughter can walk”. It would take too long to explain that answer of mine and I say it a lot, so I just smile to myself when I see their questionable looks. It would make my son and daughter uncomfortable to bring up all that history in front of them.


This summer our son is reading up on Anatomy. He is a very serious when he looks into anything he does, also very private. He doesn’t remember some of his early childhood years of all those teaching lessons and adventures we took when he couldn’t speak, it really was like he was gone for awhile and then he just came back one morning and asked to go to Target.

His words came back one at a time but his first full sentence was “Can we go shopping today at Target?” my husband and I just smiled and said yes…he was 6 years old.

I am so grateful that my kids had a father that was right there by their side to teach them along with me.

My son has passed me. I am not an academic, I am more of a right sided brain creative type. My husband always took up the subject I was not good at when it came to teaching them.  Both our kids got A’s this semester in college. They are both up for scholarships into universities as long as they keep those grades up. Both of them have a goal of getting their degrees debt free. That right there is a huge challenge in our country.


Yeah, this has a happy ending and as for my husband…he will always be a wonderful father. I knew he would be years ago when we were both teenagers dating.

Happy Father’s day to all you dads out there…being a dad is one of the best gifts anyone can receive. You all have a wonderful Father’s Day where ever you may be out there in the world.

And to all the new dads and future dads out there remember these words…

“What you teach your children, they teach their theirs”

Teach them about the things that really matter and every generation will get better and better. God bless all you dads. Have a wonderful Sunday with your family today, from all of us at Our Little Red House.


In loving memory of our dads. Thanks for all the memories, adventures and life lessons.

29 Comments Add yours

  1. Child Of God says:

    Thank you very much for shringthis with u. Memories… God bless you. I love the pics.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You are very welcome. It is a re post from last Father’s Day since I was so busy this weekend I didn’t have time to write a new post for this year. I just went back in last years post and shared this one with any new followers of mine. Have a beautiful Father’s Day.


  2. Child Of God says:

    sharing your memories with us. Forgive my spelling above. I have no idea what happened.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you, you’re very sweet. Don’t worry about the typos…I am famous in our home for misspellings and typos.


  3. Child Of God says:

    Now I follow you. Hope you are following me s well

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, I am pretty sure I am, but I will have to double check to make sure. It is so hard keeping up with everyone on top of everything else that seems to be part of our new normal. Hope you are having a beautiful Sunday where ever you are out in the world and God bless you and yours.


  4. ruthsoaper says:

    I am sure your children realize this but they are so blessed to have you both as parents. I have great admiration for those who homeschool their children. Happy Father’s Day to your husband.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you Ruth, boy I could have used your encouraging words when we first started homeschooling back them, man I can’t believe the anger for people who home school and we got it from friends and some family (not all family, thank God). Happy Father’s Day to your husband as well.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. AlexaJade says:

    A father is the most unsung hero there is. Your so true and meaningful in this post. Beautifully written 💛

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Binte Bashir says:

    What a beautiful post and lovely memories.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Wow! What a beautiful and encouraging post! Doctors and teachers aren’t always right, are they? I’m so happy to hear about the success of both of your children and all they overcame. And the photos were great too. Your husband is one of a kind. Thank you for telling us about him! Some good news was something we really needed.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Lisa, an old post from last year. Didn’t have time to write up a new one this year, life is a little intense right now. I figure I repost that one, we all need encouragement. I love reading stories from families that were able to get through tough situations and what ever the outcome they still stayed close and love one another. This is why I will always have a special spot for all you homeschoolers out there, that is not an easy job but the outcomes in the end are so worth it. When you have good parents that are not abusive that is, there are situations where kids need to go to schools but I like to believe those situations are rare.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. God bless dads.
    You are beautiful people, I can understand why you home schooled your children. Thank you for sharing this story of yours.
    Wishing your family all the best ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, you are so kind. Our story has a happy ending and my husband and I are very happy we decided to home school too. Our kids got to learn real world things and we never had school schedules to stick too so we could go anywhere at anytime. When they went back into the public school setting because they choose to for High School they tested high in their test scores and where put into honors classes and science and math classes. We just let them learn naturally in a lot of these home school lessons. They had a curriculum to follow with worksheets and books but they got most of their knowledge by speaking to real people who lived history, up close with nature for science and biology and we never took art or music away from them like our public schools started doing years ago.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You gave them the best start.
        Why did the mainstream schools take away art and music?! I went to a small private international school, it wasn’t very good but we had art. They took music and cooking away though, and I enjoyed both of them (my mum or dad weren’t the types to hand on their knowledge – my dad was too much away with work but my mum was an indulged ‘housewife’ except for many years she had paid help in the house and garden, another woman brought me up from the age of two and we had private lessons outside of school.) Neither parent let me get close to them, I was highly criticised or ignored. The only adult who was kind and interested in me was my granddad, he introduced plants to me… I taught myself many things over the years since childhood.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. In some public schools they have cut out music and some art classes because they say it is too expensive. They also have cut out home economics and cooking classes in some of our High Schools. We have charter schools here that specialize in certain subjects and one was mostly all about art and music. You really have to shop around here in Arizona and most of the USA when it comes to getting a good education. If you have the money then private is good but not alot of people can afford that. Mostly the ones who can not afford private just home school instead.
        I have heard so many stories like yours when it comes to the grandparents being kinder and raising the grandchildren with more love then the parents. My Nana was more like a mother to me then my own mother who had me when she was a teenager and brought me home to her mother, my Nana, who basically raised me. It is a weird family dynamic and that is why I can understand others out there having similar situations. I bet your grandfather was very kind.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Oh I see… Although governments seem to find the money for stuff they want. Art and music are important for the soul, as are green spaces or nature. Even on purely an economic/monetary level, it pays to help the less financially fortunate because those people will be happier, feel more worthful resulting in higher employment, lower medical costs, lower crime etc. I marvelled at the German infrastructure while living there, they are so much more child friendly. Places to play, cycle paths, after school clubs and really good maternity/child care. I was a stepmother four years and took care of several children from different families over the years. I never was able to have my own children though.
        Your Nana sounded lovely.
        My mum went through trauma as a child, her beloved older sister died and her parents emotionally shut her out. She had me as an older mother but didn’t want to bond with me like she did with my younger sister who is a vile, self centred adult today. I was everyone’s scapegoat. Many fellow scapegoats out there.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. My husband and I are both scapegoats and we both have one sibling each. Unfortunately our siblings are the golden children and have been raised by our mothers since they were little to not be close to each of us, it is such a sad situation as you very well know. Children should be raised to love and look out for their siblings. I believe what is going on with the world right now is that all us scapegoats finally had enough and started living life for ourselves. no longer allowing abuse to happen in our lives. The golden ones and their mother queen bees started attacking and hating all around the world because their scapegoat children were stepping away from their abuse. I am seeing this happen everywhere.
        Even my children could not step away from this abuse. They were being raised in our family to be the next generation of punching bags. That is when I gave my mother rules to seeing them in a healthy grandmother way but instead she refused and stepped up her lies and drama to turn her side of the family against me, I had to go No Contact, which I would never recommend because it is very painful emotionally and should only be done in extreme cases.
        My husband and I had to go semi No Contact with his mom and his brother just stopped speaking to us all when my husband and I also told him he is no longer allowed to treat us the way he has, as well as our children. It is a crazy long story and it would take a whole book to write it up. I have discovered since blogging that this story is the same story all over the world right now. It is an epidemic of cruelty and narcissism from the ones that were suppose to love and protect us. You are right, there are so many scapegoats out there in the world right now. We could all start our own club. I believe we have though in a way. We are all starting to tell our stories bit by bit out there in the world. Lots of healing that is going on right now.

        Liked by 1 person

      5. I’m sorry you and your husband were scapegoated too. It is enormously painful dealing with family of origin where this is happening.

        I understand why you went no contact with your mom. My older brother and younger sister were the favourites of my dad and mum – I was the stupid, ugly one. (I know I’m not). I was bullied from my parents and later my brother and later still my sister. Bullied at school by peers and teachers. Abused in romantic relationships. I remember you saying we have to be careful how/who we interact with and that is so true. I had to go no contact with both siblings even though I was very close to my little sister, I brought her up in some ways. They threatened physical violence and even death to me and this was before John could get his Greek (Canadian with Greek dad) paperwork together to permanently stay here. So I was a bullied physically disabled woman – my sister’s boyfriend, she pushed him into this, saying he was going to punch me and my brother’s wife threatened to kill me…later she set fire to the wood pile beside the brick house. Thank God she’s stupid. Brother and stupid live in my parents’ 2nd house 3 houses down the road, sister lives in the next village.

        Took me a LONG while to fathom their hatred towards me. There is no real reason.

        When I returned from Germany I was segregated, told I wasn’t allowed in the car to go food shopping with them. Mum and sister exchanged knowing smiles with one another. I had just left the man who almost beat me to death and couldn’t feel any emotion other than the anger of survival. My mother lost her sister and stole mine. Both parents hated me for leaving them to live in another country – although they were never interested in me.

        But it’s strange, my mum helps me financially although she can still rage at me (in her 80s). Maybe she knows she hasn’t been fair? I believe she has BPD and my dad (RIP), a degree of NPD although both could/can be kind and caring at times. I was close to my dad and my mum was jealous of his affection for me, so I believe that’s why he stopped his affection and started ignoring/criticising me.

        Funny thing is, I used to call my sister Golden – still do – and then I found out that’s what they’re called! The TRUTH ALWAYS COMES OUT!

        I understand the dynamics of the ‘scapegoat’ but can’t get my head around it… how can a parent treat their child as such?!

        Love to you and your family. I really, really like your blog. xox

        Liked by 1 person

      6. That is awful what happened to you. The level of hate the scapegoats have to endure. is always shocking to me. There are so many therapists on YouTube that vlog about how to heal and get through that. Sometimes people out there do not believe some of these abuse stories because they are so extreme and they always question why a mother or father would behave in such ways. This is when the scapegoats get abused again, by no one believing then when they finally have the courage to speak up. Not to mention the up and down roller coaster ride of the way living in a toxic environment feels like. Unless they come from that environment they will never understand the going back to be abused again and again….therapy helps explain these traits in us scapegoats.
        All children want their parents to love them but having a psychopath as a parent is a hard thing to live with because they are so good at their head games and manipulations. It is hard to break away what we as children were brainwashed into becoming and excepting. I finally walked away when I saw what it was doing to my husband and how my children were being molded into the next generation of scapegoats with the family abusing them. If I didn’t have children I know I would have stayed in the abuse.
        Scapegoats also have to be so careful out in the world because they were basically raised up in a way to be victims. There is a book out there that explains this, about how it is like a big neon sign on our head that advertises that we are to be abused. We are the people pleasers and those wolves in sheep’s clothing out there in the world love to take advantage of that kindness in us.
        I have been stalked a couple times because of my kind ways of always trying to “Save all the puppies” as my aunt always tells me. Now I am extra careful with things and sometimes this comes off as being cruel at times or mean but scapegoats once they break away have to be very careful in their vulnerability while they heal.
        Thank you so much for liking my blog. You have a fun blog as well and I can tell you are very creative with all that art work of yours. Keep treating yourself with kindness doing the things you love. Sometimes the ones that are broken only know how to break others themselves. I believe this is the case with a lot of people with personality disorders. I just say a prayer for them and keep my distance away from them as much as possible. Hope you have a beautiful week and it is filled with peace and beauty.

        Liked by 1 person

  9. I have to admit, it was the old truck that made me stop and look at your post….and man am I happy I did!!
    One day your children will really understand what you and your husband have given them. Stood strong despite all of what the other (well intended or not) said or did, just carrying on on that rocky road.
    I always love to read what you have to share and always think “no way, she’s gonna top that blog post”…but, you do !
    Just like you did with your family!
    Hearing about your children did make my heart bleed, of course also because I immediately thought what Emmy could have done for them.
    But hey….they had you and their dad….true role models to all of the parents out there who swim with the current, no seeing what the ocean holds for you if you manage to stay strong and swim the other way.
    Thank you for sharing !
    Big hug from me to you all 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Love that, such a beautiful way with words this comment you wrote. Sometimes with everything my husband and I have experienced it almost seems like it is all surreal. Like it didn’t happen. Yes, Emmy would have been a perfect team member in our adventures in raising our children, We would have all loved her that’s for sure. In our home we make sure to have a lot of life which include cats, fish, birds, and plants. We had a dog but he died years ago and I just haven’t had the heart to get another dog since we lost Fellipe. He was such a happy fellow and even now about ten years later I get all choked up over loosing him. I get very attached and always have been like that since a little girl. I used to hike up the mountain we lived by and take sunflower seeds with me to feed the wild chipmunks. I remember they would come right up to me, so cute. I also had a pet sparrow that I rescued that I would let out during the day and it would fly back down to me when I called it in the evening to bring back inside. The neighbors were shocked when they saw that. My dad was working on his truck one day when I called Baby down from a tree and she flew down onto my head then I picked her up and we both went inside, and the neighbors were out walking their dog. They went up to my dad and said “Did we really just see a wild sparrow long on your daughter’s head when she called it” and my dad lifted his head out of the vehicles’s hood and answered “Yep, that’s Cheri, she always has some animal around.” I should do a post on Baby. I have a blurry photo somewhere of Baby playing barbies with me. She would just hang out when I was playing.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. I love this post! I love that you and your husband took matters into your own hands with educating your children. It’s amazing that you brought out the best of them. Hugs to you!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Robin, I also wanted to let you know that I included one of your posts in my favorites this month. Big hugs back to you and yours from Arizona.


      1. Awe thank you, my dear friend! ❤

        Liked by 1 person

      2. You’re very welcome.


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