And she gave birth to her firstborn son and wrapped him in swaddling cloths and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn,
Trigger warning- This was a post of mine that was meant to be posted Christmas eve but I sat on it for awhile and went back and forth to whether or not to post it. Then I realized I have prayers at the end of this post that others need so here it is, a few days after Christmas but as they say…better late then never.May be upsetting to some, there are subjects that deal with abuse so skip this post if that may trigger or upset any of you. It does have a happy message at the end if you like to scroll down. Happy holidays and Merry Christmas to you all and may only good things always come your way for the New Year.
The kindness of strangers.
Last year, the year of 2019 I was not feeling up to posting a feel good blog about Christmas. Feeling sorry for myself I suppose or just not seeing how blessed I really was, I did not have it in my heart. If we look close enough, we all realize how truly blessed we are. Sometimes I forget this, I am only human after all. Last year I wanted to share something to cheer everyone up with and there I was in a funk myself, not one to cheer up anyone. I felt myself slipping away from my father’s side of the family that year. A family that I had been poisoned against long ago by my mother when she saw me trying to connect and get close to them back when I was a child.
Sadly, in the big picture of things, in the end it would turn out that I wound up no longer speaking to them anyway, that family…my family. I felt them separating from me last Christmas when I realized I had just stepped right back into another role of being around abusive toxic behaviors. I could not put up with their hate anymore. This is the first Christmas without them.
Years ago I introduced my children to a family they did not know existed. I had made contact with my father’s side because my father had died that year when I went back into their life…I was vulnerable I suppose. At least this time, after healing from my mother’s manipulations, I was able to recognize it when it was happening all over again, and once again picking up our pieces, my immediate family and I walked down another road instead.
Before I go on I have to bring up that there are good people on my father’s side, some have been hurt themselves by the family dynamic, this post is not about them. In all toxic environments there is always a leader. The top dog that manipulates and surrounds themself with their flying monkeys to attack and hurt the ones that don’t fall into line. That is what this part of my post is about.
The one that is broken the most, the queen bee, the great manipulators out there, they are the most broken and can cause the most dysfunction. Only thing I know to do is pray the hardest for them, that they come to a place of happiness and stop continuing that chain of emotional abuse that they themselves are stuck in.
This trying to connect to strangers basically, although family from my childhood,has hurt my children.Which breaks my heart even more. In the beginning when I first made contact with my family, they loved bombed us all, well mostly one person…the oldest, the matriarch of the family did that is ,and I would fall right into her trap.
This is when I would discover the reason my father married my mother. He married what he knew…he married what he grew up with and believed to be healthy. We all got many answers when I walked back into my Father’s older sister’s life once again. We all would learn a valuable lesson, many in fact. We also got to make peace with so much and although they no longer speak or write to us, we at least know we ended it with letting them know we love them and that before my father passed he loved them too. A message I don’t believe some of them had gotten because of a tragedy that happened years ago to separate siblings. Everything in life happens for a reason. Me going back into their life brought beautiful messages to let them know that they were loved and still our.
That is another story that some day I hope to write. It comes with a lot of miracles and signs from above. It’s time to bring all those lies out into the open and shine some light on all us little children that were hurt in my family, anomalously of course, no need to hurt others. I think 2021 will be a year where the silent are silent no more. Anyway, there I was thinking last year was bad and look what 2020 brought us. And once again here I am doing the same thing and just like last year, my husband would come home with a positive story to remind me what Christmas is about and how blessed we really are.
How little faith I have sometimes, not always, but sometimes, and I beat myself up for it too. When I have faith it is strong though and there is nothing that can break through it when that happens. Last year my husband brought a newspaper home from the military base he was shopping at with his mother. In that newspaper was a story called the Christmas truce. My country where I live was divided last year, still is, and that was the perfect story to remind everyone how beautiful it is when we all get along and we love our neighbors. That was my Christmas post last year and then it happened again.
This time my husband wanted to go out two days before Christmas to get some last minute shopping done and he would return home with a beautiful story for me. This is a funny pattern I have discovered with the men in our lives, they love last minute Christmas shopping. They try so hard to get those perfect gifts for the ones they love so they put it off till the last moment. But this time I told my husband I didn’t want him to leave.
“Stay home, we have everything we need, we are set, just stay home please.” I told him before he left.
You see something very sad happened the day before. I know what you are probably thinking right now if you are still reading this, that this is the saddest Christmas post ever, but I am getting to something here and it all ties in together. The day before my daughter came to me crying because she had just gotten news that her high school friend had died suddenly from a stroke.
“What, but she was so young…how?” I asked my daughter
She would tell me they don’t know. She seemed okay, was well and then one day she just died. No signs, so symptoms…just gone. And then my daughter told me how her friend was there and helped her through online bullying when she posted to everyone how she became a Christian and just how happy she was about that.
Old high school friends and people my daughter went to school, that she believed to be her friends, attacked her like crazy on social media when she posted that she had become a Christian. So much hate was directed at her after she did that. It has created some PTSD with my daughter now, slowly we are all healing together as a family from the hate we have experienced this year.
This friend of my daughters would speak up and come to her defense about my daughter’s beliefs. My daughter never goes online to attack and judge others or their beliefs, she always post the positive things that bring her joy in life. To be kind to others, to help others, to never judge…yet Christians everywhere are being attacked and drawn out to fight, speak up, and be confrontational more then ever before. When they don’t jump on the trend of hating, what ever subject it may be, they are hated and looked upon as enemies. Such a shocking thing happening out there with this trend of hating.
So when my daughter lost this kind friend (age 22) it hit us all in the gut hard. I started thinking about the virus and I just wanted to put my family in a bubble and keep them safe, if only for Christmas, to keep us safe to celebrate together. And here was my husband wanting to go out in it. Into the city, where little girls die and sirens blare constantly and people sneer and hate. This is that little faith I was writing about above. If you are still sticking with me and this post, I promise you, it gets better and there is a beautiful and kind thing that will happen the farther you read on. Sometimes we without realizing it allow people in our lives that are so hurt themselves that they do not know how to not hurt others as well. I had just surrounded myself these past years with too many broken individuals and it was interfering with my perception on what the majority of the world really are and that is that they are good.
My husband said he would be okay. He will make sure to social distance, wear his mask, spray down after touching everything and take a Silkwood shower (watch the movie Silkwood for the answer to that) when he gets home. This is just his pattern, to go out and do last minute things before Christmas day. Then he left, he walked out the door. I had to rely on my faith that everything would be okay.
When he got home, once again he would have a story to share and one that I feel I need to share with you all as well. He said while out shopping he did his usual things, which is helping anyone who needs it but something happened this time.
There was an older woman that couldn’t reach something on a shelf so my husband got it down for her. Then another man needed an ingredient that my husband over heard him asking someone for. My husband pointed him in the right direction and the two of them started sharing recipe tips. The man wanted to make home made jam.
Meanwhile someone near by my husband was listening. Someone was staying very close and near to my husband while he shopped. At one point my husband said he started getting a little put off by it. Why is this man so close to me all the time my husband thought to himself. Then while waiting in line my husband would run into the little woman that couldn’t reach something that my husband helped. She turned around and said to another man by her…
“This is the man that helped me earlier”. And that is when my husband would recognize the man as being the same man that had been following him around the store.
The woman’s son then bent down near my husband and picked up a bill, then handed my husband a $100 dollar bill.
“I think you dropped this.” he said while he handed it to my husband.
My husband looked at it and answered back.
“Oh no, that’s not mine. I stopped carrying 100 dollar bills since they are always so hard to break when shopping, not mine, I don’t know who it could belong to.”
The woman’s son did not give up though.
“No, I really think this belongs to you.” the man said as he smiled.
This is when my husband figured out what that 100 dollar bill was about and that is when the stranger that followed my husband around the store told him why he believed the bill belonged to him.
“ I have been watching you, and you go around helping others. You also helped my mother as well.” the stranger said as he reminded my husband the bill is meant for him.
My husband handed it back once again and asked the man to instead spend it at one of my husband’s favorite charities. Seeds for Autism he told the man. He then told the man the story about Seeds and how it got started. You can read about that here in this link but take a box of kleenix with you because it is a tearful story, what a beautiful happy ending it has though.
The owner of Seeds started seeds for her little brother with Autism and in his memory she has been able to not only provide jobs for adults with Autism but also has a really cool business to share products with others in her brother’s memory. It really is a feel good story and their shop has so many cool items in it to buy . I am not getting anything for promoting them. My husband was handed back the bill once again. The tug of war between a 100 dollar bill but the opposite of pulling…think you get my point.
Then the stranger said “It does belong to you, thank you for helping” and he got out his phone and started typing in Seeds for Autism. Then he looked up at my husband and said…
“I promise I will head over there today, I see they are opened until 4pm so I will be spending hundreds of dollars with them too, but this one belongs to you.” and he smiled as he handed the $100 dollars back again.
So once again my husband had a Christmas story to tell and in the process he also helped others by pointing a real life Santa in their direction. Just think, if my husband wouldn’t have decided to do some last minute shopping during this year of a pandemic, that kind stranger would have never have known about that little shop where several Adults with Autism make beautiful gifts. Real life Santa’s helpers, they just needed Santa to stop by to pick up some gifts. Everything happens for a reason. God puts us in a path where we are able to help each other.
I had so little faith watching as my husband walked out the door that day (reasons behind that too). The last Christmas I saw my father before he died, he too walked out my front door and 3 months later he would die in a tragic way. It was him walking out my front door that Christmas that would be the last time I would ever see him alive. And here was my husband returning home with another beautiful Christmas story to share with you all after walking out our front door around Christmas time.
I have heard of this hundred dollar gift giving around the holidays, where a stranger goes around passing them out. I never thought we would be apart of this story that started years ago. I look at moments like this in life as a message from above. Another sign from God reminding us what the real reason behind Christmas is…to love your neighbors. To be kind to each other. Look at the gift God gave us…his son. And look at the gift his son Jesus gave us, the greatest gift of all…the real reason behind Christmas.We all should be giving many gifts of kindness to each other.
All the kindness that Jesus spread to strangers, all the love, and miracles he performed and he never stopped giving. This is what we are suppose to do, to spread kindness.I am not perfect, there are so many mistakes I have made in my life. This year of 2020 saw me battling lots of emotions, so many times I would get wrapped up in the anger of 2020 and the frustrations and sadness of it all, yet once again I was given such a beautiful lesson and sign from above to what we should be focusing on. And there is more to this story.
The night my daughter came to me and told me about her friend I fell asleep watching an old movie on YouTube. I don’t remember turning it off so YouTube ran it through to several more movies until it would stop on one movie ( I must have woken up and turned it off at some point)…and that movie was called the Kindness of strangers.
“Look what happened.” I was surprised when I went back in my history to find that old classic to watch and showed my husband my history of shows watched.
“I must have fallen asleep because my movie finished and two more started and this is where it ended on this movie, called The Kindness of Strangers.” I then turned to my husband and said, “guess I will have to watch this one too”.
That is the day my husband would leave to go shopping and get that $100 dollar bill. Like everything happened for a reason. The two stories came together to make a beautiful point. Every year I do end up with some special Christmas post to share with you all.
I watched that movie later in the day and it had some triggering moments I will say that but I love the ending and how it all worked out in the end. The youngest character in the movie I relate to his need to explore the world, to see everything, to go around every corner touching snow and icicles. Just seeing the beauty in all the wonders the planet has in it. When you escape being mistreated in anyway, all those tiny moments of peace in life after that are so wonderful.
It is a beautiful Christmas story to me, even though technically it wasn’t set during the holidays. It’s just about being kind to strangers. I will not blow it and give it away. You will have to watch it yourself. I hope it isn’t one of those pirated movies, it does come with commercials so maybe it isn’t. I don’t know. You can look it up on YouTube.
If you are still here, reading this whole post, I hope that you have the best Christmas ever, that all good things come your way for the New Year and as always spread kindness in everything you do. Please keep my daughter’s friend’s family in your prayers this Christmas day. Please keep the world in your prayers, to the ones who have lost love ones this year of 2020, please pray for peace for them, for comfort and that angels stand by their sides to protect them always. And please pray that more eyes are opened to truths. That all lies are brought to the light and exposed for what they are so that we all can have a happier 2021. God bless you all from all of us at Our Little Red House.
And the angel said to them, “ Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people.
You can follow the employees from seeds for Autism here on wordpress they have a blog where they post every now and then. Send them a happy comment to add a little cheer to the holidays and spread the kindness.